Play recommendations
- Consistently interpret statements as statements about the relationship.
- Your guiding question: What do others think of me?
- React to tone, posture and undertones, not to content.
- Assume closeness, distance, appreciation or disregard.
- Ask about the relationship level: "How do you mean that?"
- Make implicit relationship signals explicit.
- When you feel attacked: stay silent, flee, or defend.
👉 Rule of thumb: Relationship before content. Reaction before action.
Body language
- You allow closeness and even seek it.
- Keep your hands close to your body.
- Seek eye contact with those who like you.
- Avoid eye contact with those who put you down.
- React visibly through facial expression and gesture to moods and tensions.
- Speak cautiously, formulate tentatively.
Signature lines
- "You have no right to say that to me!"
- "Are you saying that I'm…?"
- "I have the feeling that…"
- "Now look, I'm only…"
- "I only meant…"
- "That's just not done!"
- "Not in that tone of voice, please!"
- "Thanks, I think you're great too!"
